Breaking repeated negative patterns

Understanding negative repeated patterns in our life that we no longer wish to carry with us.

Do you find yourself repeating the same old patterns in your life?  And you don’t understand why you are repeating those patterns that are having a negative impact on you?  

It’s time to break the cycle and take the first step in understanding why and where this is coming from.  But first off what are negative patterns?

  • Feeling anger in certain situations
  • Being in an abusive relationship
  • Dating the same “type” of person
  • Criticizing others or being criticized
  • Being taken advantage of

To name a few


First off you want to recognize the pattern.  If you are questioning yourself or telling yourself things such as “why is this always happening to me”  Or  “people always treat me this way” Or “I have to get out of always repeating this situation”  Then you have recognized your pattern.  

But what if you haven’t recognized exactly what the pattern is?  You may feel sadness, anger or a negative emotions in a specific situation and that can be an indication of a negative pattern.

Be accountable

This may be tough to accept if you feel that you are the victim in this negative pattern situation.  Accepting is not agreeing.

When you are accountable for you emotions you can start the healing process and address the situation.  This can be very empowering to take on the responsibility of your emotions to move forward with the necessary steps towards change. 


The patterns have created triggers and those triggers settled into your subconscious.  

Let me clarify.  I want you to think of your trigger.  Now, reflect on this, I become or I attract what I have NOT accepted between the ages of 0-12.  

This moment in your childhood brought an emotion charge and to protect yourself from the pain or hurt you filled in into the subconscious mind.  

By reflecting on your pattern and the bold phrase you have take the first step to bring that to the conscious mind.  You are now in the process of healing. 

Accepting is not agreeing.  Let me make that clear because accepting a situation that happened to your past is not something you may accept.  Accepting happens at mind level.  Your mind remembers and understands what happened.  What you want to do is accept it at the heart level (the soul level)  If you only understand and do not work towards accepting at the heart level the negative patterns will continue repeating itself in one way or another.   I see many people healing at the mind level and never taking the time to heal at the soul level.  Guess what their younger self is still in pain. 

Your younger self interpreted an emotion, as an adult you are now in a negative pattern.  You can now allow yourself to NOT feel guilt.  This is not a punishment, this is a way to peal away at the onion of life to get to the core of harmony. 

“I can not change if I do not accept” 


Allow yourself to feel to heal at the heart level.

What and where you place your attention is very important.  When you shift your mind to focus on the fact that you can now understand the pattern, you know where it started, you can place all your energy on change.  Focus on the good of this process.  Think about how the pattern will not be repeated, how you feel more respect and love for yourself, think about the positive impact it has on your surroundings, think about your mood, your energy and how you feel lighter.

Remember you are human and thing will not happen over night.  And maybe, just maybe if you haven’t pin pointed exactly the correct trigger emotion of an experience you may need more time to heal or some one-on-one session to discover that is happening.  


Even after 5 years of deep healing myself in this field of work, I found myself with a total ha-ha moment of a pattern I didn’t realize I was doing.  I connected with the emotion, discovered where it came from, offered myself some compassion in that moment and felt good afterwards.  Keep in mind I have the tools of questions I asked myself to heal quickly from this situation but all this to say is that we are in constant evolution of our “self” and we can encounter hurt even after a lot of personal development, therapy or coaching. 

Allow yourself to celebrate this victory. Yes, It is a victory to go through a negative repeated pattern and breaking the cycle.  It is a victory to feel emotions and taking time to heal.  It is a victory to make change where change is needed. 

Keep celebrating your wins.  Liberate yourself, bring love and joy in your world. 

During an accompaniment with a client, I bring a safe environment to offer an expansion of the mind.  Respecting the client’s evolution I ask questions to contribute to their solutions towards a goal they may have difficulty reaching.    Often, clients, humans, tell themselves stories from past experiences, and emotions that may have caused pain and this keeps them from moving forward with reaching their goals.  Often, once the problem has been addressed, the subconscious mind offers clues and solutions to the conscious mind.

The client often feels signs of release.  Which results in time to bring peace, harmony and happiness in their lives.


Lorsque je travaille avec un client, je crée un environnement sûr et favorable dans lequel il peut explorer ses pensées et ses sentiments. Respecter l’évolution du client et viser à l’aider à contribuer à ses solutions tout en respectant ses objectifs. Les clients racontent souvent des expériences et des émotions passées dans le but d’éviter d’aller de l’avant avec leurs objectifs. Souvent, lorsqu’un problème est résolu, l’esprit subconscient offre des indices et des solutions à l’esprit conscient. Le client éprouve souvent des sentiments de libération, ce qui lui permet de se ressentir la paix, l’harmonie et le bonheur dans sa vie

Melanie Kis is a professional certified NLP coach with over 10 years of experience in the health and wellness field.  She brings science, spirituality and experience to mind, body and soul. 

She guides women to find solutions to goals they want to achieve.  This can range from building self-confidence, overcoming burnout and stress, weight issues or achieving love for who they are.   To live in harmony, calm, happiness and feeling at peace is a possibility for all.


❤❤ It’s not just about the body.  My mission is to bring light, and expansion to align mind, body and soul to all women who seek evolution in their wellness for life, to bring wholeness.



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