After speaking to multiple people regarding the holiday season I would have to say from the feedback I listened to is people are stressed out over the holiday season.
Do the holidays stress you out?
People are overly stressed out over the holidays that they even make comedy movies out of it. It’s a thing. Four Christmases, Christmas Vacation, Home Alone and many more movies depict the stresses of the holidays.
That being said, you are not alone if this is how you feel.
So why then do we place ourselves in these stressed-out situations?
Well, only you can truly answer that question.
If you are honest with yourself you can pinpoint exactly what stresses you out, or what you dislike about the holiday season. You know that little voice in your mind that says, “don’t go to that party, you will be exhausted the next day and you don’t even enjoy going to it” Or “do I really want to have a drink tonight? I feel like I do because others are drinking” Or “I wish I was cuddled up and cozy on my couch reading a good book or watching a Christmas movie like family stone, or the holiday” Or “I can’t believe I am rushing out at the last minute again to buy cousin Annie that I barely know just because of this old gift exchange tradition”
There are many reasons why you may feel stressed out. One of the big reasons may be because some of the events, situations, people, and experiences make you feel uneasy. Your feelings and emotions are not aligning with your values, beliefs and your “self”
But you may be saying to yourself right now. “But I have to do this, it’s Christmas”
I would then ask you, “who says you have to do this?” “ What will happen if you don’t do what you want?” “Who will it affect?” “Are you more concerned about what people will think about you over what will make you happy?” “Is it really the party or whatnot that is stressing you out or is it a specific person?”
I know, it’s still a tough one with pressure from family, friends, and co-workers to participate in events that you don’t want to participate in or purchase gifts that you don’t want to purchase because you rather save your money, (we are seeing inflation, aren’t we?) You rather save your energy, your money, and your time for your own children and significant other rather than uncle Joe. Maybe, maybe not. You know best, you know what stresses you out.
However, humans naturally want to please the people they know, not stir the pot, and not rattle any cages. But humans also make themselves sick over the holidays for doing something they do not want to do at all.
You know there are ways of listening to that inner voice without being hurtful to others. Without stirring the pot or rattling cages.
- First, be kind. Always!
- Second, listen to what you truly desire.
- Third, find an alternative.
- Fourth, execute your feelings.
First, when you decide you will not participate in a party, dinner, gift exchange or whatever it is you are stressed about. Let the people you know that you are grateful that they have thought of you and invited you. And politely decline. Tell them that maybe after the mad holiday rush you will be more than happy to sit down and be in their company.
Second, not participating in a gift exchange just goes absolutely against your beliefs today and your values. Once again, kindly decline by letting the other person know that with the rise in cost, or maybe the saving you are wanting to accumulate or maybe you just don’t agree with holidays being about gifts but more about spirituality. Be kind and honest. The person will appreciate your honesty and if they don’t, know that you will come out of this situation feeling aligned with yourself while the other may not.
Third, find an alternate way. Maybe big holiday events make you feel uncomfortable and you are more of a one on one kinda person. Who really knows that of you if you’ve been living your entire life being the person who was first in line at the party? Maybe you always hosted the Christmas dinner but you no longer want that responsibility. Today, you have evolved into your true nature and discovered parts of you that don’t scream party animal or hostess.
If you receive that invite, KINDLY decline and find an alternative. Maybe a hike in the woods, a tea by an outdoor fire, a creative workshop, a movie, a potluck, a dinner at someone else’s house… You know what you like, suggest it.
Fourth, this is a big one. SHARE how you feel. This isn’t always an easy one for many. Again, it comes down to having this fear of what the other person may think, fear of hurting the other person’s feelings, it all coming out all wrong or maybe you haven’t been really good at sharing and you just don’t know how.
But how about how you feel? Wouldn’t it be great if you could communicate it? Communication is important, and listening is important.
Now, I invite you to sit back, take a breath, and decide how you want to spend your month of December. Live it the way you want by staying humble and kind. To still be considerate of others yet, align your heart with happiness.
It’s December first and today I can honestly say that not only am I sharing these steps with you because some of these steps I have taken but I am also working on them.
We are human, we do our best and I would like to think that we aren’t purposefully trying to hurt others. But I am also a coach with clients who often share with me their behaviours in response to beliefs that are not always supportive of their heart desires. Feeling defeated, hurt, sad, tired, confused. Feeling like an imposter, lack of confidence, wanting to please others.
What I hear with time after a few coaching sessions and their own personal work is the connection they made when all they really wanted is to be heard, loved, and recognized for who they are. Just being themselves and being loved. Just being!
I invite you today to just be. Just be YOU. With what you know today of yourself, what you are feeling and what you want to do. To let go of what others may think. Because…
YOU CAN NOT CHANGE HOW OTHERS THINK OF YOU, YOU CAN ONLY CHANGE HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT YOURSELF WHEN IT COMES TO OTHERS OR SITUATIONS.
So knowing you cannot change others. What will you do today to make yourself self feel joy this holiday season?
During an accompaniment with a client, I bring a safe environment to offer an expansion of the mind. Respecting the client’s evolution I ask questions to contribute to their solutions towards a goal they may have difficulty reaching. Often, clients, humans, tell themselves stories from past experiences, and emotions that may have caused pain and this keeps them from moving forward with reaching their goals. Often, once the problem has been addressed, the subconscious mind offers clues and solutions to the conscious mind.
The client often feels signs of release. Which results in time to bring peace, harmony and happiness in their lives.
Lorsque je travaille avec un client, je crée un environnement sûr et favorable dans lequel il peut explorer ses pensées et ses sentiments. Respecter l’évolution du client et viser à l’aider à contribuer à ses solutions tout en respectant ses objectifs. Les clients racontent souvent des expériences et des émotions passées dans le but d’éviter d’aller de l’avant avec leurs objectifs. Souvent, lorsqu’un problème est résolu, l’esprit subconscient offre des indices et des solutions à l’esprit conscient. Le client éprouve souvent des sentiments de libération, ce qui lui permet de se ressentir la paix, l’harmonie et le bonheur dans sa vie
Melanie Kis is a professional certified NLP coach with over 10 years of experience in the health and wellness field. She brings science, spirituality and experience to mind, body and soul.
She guides women to find solutions to goals they want to achieve. This can range from building self-confidence, overcoming burnout and stress, weight issues or achieving love for who they are. To live in harmony, calm, happiness and feeling at peace is a possibility for all.
www.soicoaching.com
It’s not just about the body. My mission is to bring light, and expansion to align mind, body and soul to all women who seek evolution in their wellness for life, to bring wholeness.
