Discovering your values

Are you aware of the values that are important to you? 

What are personal values? 

You may think that a specific value is important to you, to discover that it is only sometimes the case. 


The first thing would be to discover your values. The values that are important to you.  The ones that make you feel good when nourished. 

How do you discover your values?  One way is, when you feel uneasy, sad, angry or unfulfilled, your value isn’t being met.  You often hear this with people that are unhappy at their work.  They may not agree with the company values because they don’t hold the same importance as their own personal values.  And this can create a number of issues professionally and personally. 

The second way to discover your values would be to try this mini-exercise. 




Write out in point form if you wish, your ideal vacation and ideal job situation. 

Once written out in front of you, pick out your values that keep repeating themselves.  

Ex. My dream vacation is to discover the world and different cultures.  I want to be able to do this with my husband and kids. As I am discovering the world I would like to visit art museums, try new foods and participate in workshops such as painting or ceramics. How fun! 

I like warm weather and seeing my kids swim in the ocean makes me happy to see the joy on their faces.

I would like to have a lot of time so my vacation can be flexible and I can continue to discover the unbeaten path during my vacation. 

I want to be able to bring my sketchbook and draw the beauty that surrounds me.  


You would now repeat the same exercise but with your ideal job. 

So from the example above when I take a look at what I wrote I can pick out the values that come up.  This is a good way to possibly see new values that you may not have thought were important to you. 

The values that come up in the example are…

  • Discovery 
  • Creativity
  • Family
  • Flexibility
  • Authenticity
  • Pleasure

Now to feel in alignment with my true nature there are many elements that need to be in place however, honoring my values is a closer step to feeling at peace. 

I would then reflect on each value.

  • What is it that I want to discover?
  • Discover what, who, how?
  • How can I be creative? With art, food, hobbies, music…
  • What does family mean to me?  Everyone in my family or simply my kids? 
  • What is Flexibility for me?  Time management, letting go of time, and planning my time…?
  • How can I be authentic? What does it mean to be authentic?  Is there anyone else impacted by my Authenticity? If so, why, who, is it positive or negative? 
  • Pleasure, having fun in life? At work? On vacation? All the time? What is fun to me? 

When you are true to your values there’s an instant satisfaction that settles within you. Enriching sensations and the self. 

Your senses are nourished in ways that you may not provide if not meeting your needs.  

So why set aside your values?  Setting aside your values will not propel you to feel your best.  But often what happens is people feel that all values need to be met all the time all at once.  Or they ignore what is present due to whatever story they tell themselves. It doesn’t work that way. 

If I go back to the example of values above I may fulfill my value of discovery by exploring my hometown, the spring/summer market or learning more about local plants to add to my garden.  When my kids come home from school I will spend time with them to fulfill my value of family.  


Time to give yourself a break and some self-love. 


  • There’s no need to do it all.
  • Even if you know all your values and you can’t meet them and you don’t feel good.  YOU ARE HUMAN. Let go. Start another day.
  • Be gentle with yourself as you discover more and more of your true nature.  It may be a shocker for you at first but you will soon discover that it was always a part of you. 
  • There’s no need to spend hours on end telling yourself you are meeting your values.  It should simply come naturally with time. 
  • Practice self-compassion
  • Don’t let others tell you who you are and what you like.  Figure it out on your own, listen carefully to your heart.
  • Keep in mind not all values will come up in the exercise, I am sure there are more than you think.
  • Stop doing a lot without doing anything.  Practice mindfulness, and quiet the mind by quitting the need to always do. It’s exhausting. 

I hope you get to discover your true values.  Not your company values, nor the values you think you have due to your upbringing (that would be beliefs) but take a moment to listen to what resonates with you.  


Then go out there and live life with peace in your heart. 


Not sure what values are here is a short reference list to refresh the words that you may not be popping up in your mind.

  • Friendship
  • Sharing
  • Love
  • Respect
  • Education
  • Health
  • Evolution
  • Security
  • Harmony
  • Truth
  • Freedom
  • Simplicity
  • Spirituality
  • …And more

Still not feeling aligned with your true self? 

Send me an email and start a one-on-one coaching session.  I have over 30000 hours of one on one experience with clients who have authorized themselves to expand into their true selves.  Letting go of the fear of judgment, guilt, failure and more gaining confidence every step of the way. 

During an accompaniment with a client, I bring a safe environment to offer an expansion of the mind.  Respecting the client’s evolution I ask questions to contribute to their solutions towards a goal they may have difficulty reaching.    Often, clients, humans, tell themselves stories from past experiences, and emotions that may have caused pain and this keeps them from moving forward with reaching their goals.  Often, once the problem has been addressed, the subconscious mind offers clues and solutions to the conscious mind.

The client often feels signs of release.  Which results in time to bring peace, harmony and happiness in their lives.

Lorsque je travaille avec un client, je crée un environnement sûr et favorable dans lequel il peut explorer ses pensées et ses sentiments. Respecter l’évolution du client et viser à l’aider à contribuer à ses solutions tout en respectant ses objectifs. Les clients racontent souvent des expériences et des émotions passées dans le but d’éviter d’aller de l’avant avec leurs objectifs. Souvent, lorsqu’un problème est résolu, l’esprit subconscient offre des indices et des solutions à l’esprit conscient. Le client éprouve souvent des sentiments de libération, ce qui lui permet de se ressentir la paix, l’harmonie et le bonheur dans sa vie

Melanie Kis is a professional certified NLP coach with over 10 years of experience in the health and wellness field.  She brings science, spirituality and experience to mind, body and soul. 

She guides women to find solutions to goals they want to achieve.  This can range from building self-confidence, overcoming burnout and stress, weight issues or achieving love for who they are.   To live in harmony, calm, happiness and feeling at peace is a possibility for all.

Member of RITMA

❤❤ It’s not just about the body.  My mission is to bring light, and expansion to align mind, body and soul to all women who seek evolution in their wellness for life, to bring wholeness.



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